Sweet Silent Thought

Two Thoughts on the Sacrament

2011-09-17T11:45:00.000-06:00

First. It occurred to me during church at some point during the last couple of weeks. In the wording of both the sacrament prayers, we are reminded that the entirety of the covenant we make is possible only through Christ’s grace. It’s not just that the Father blesses and sanctifies the bread or water and then it’s up to us to do the rest; the whole prayer is actually a plea to Heavenly Father.

. . . we ask thee . . . to bless and sanctify this bread . . . that [we] may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son [we can’t officially, formally, eat in remembrance of Christ without the Father’s sanctifying power upon the bread], and [that we may] witness unto thee [only with the Father’s blessing and power] . . . that [we] are willing to take upon [us] the name of thy Son [a name that has to be given, bestowed—not something that can be bought or given without authority, as we learn in the New Testament], and always remember him, and [again, we’ve asked for His blessing and sanctification so that we can] keep his commandments which he hath given [us], that [we] may always have his Spirit to be with [us][—and on top of all those other things that we’re asking the Father to enable us to do, He grants us one huge blessing, which is the one we normally think of].

So, the moral of the story? I shouldn’t think of the sacrament, or the gospel generally for that matter, as one thing after another that we’re being asked to do, even though I clearly can’t do it all perfectly at this point. Instead, I should use the weekly ordinance as a time to remember all that the Atonement enables me to do. Because of what Christ did, the Father can command us to perform the sacrament in his Son’s name, to approach the King under the Prince’s authority, and receive the blessing worthy of Him whom we represent.Second. This was prompted by Daniel and Sara’s sealing (that’s Beth’s brother) last week. It started with something the sealer said but kind of blossomed in my mind. He quoted Doctrine and Covenants 109—the unique revelation of the Kirtland Temple’s dedicatory prayer, which has served as a model for all the subsequent temple dedications.Verse 22:

And we ask thee, Holy Father, that thy servants may go forth from this house armed with thy power [I’d remembered noticing that part before, but not what comes next:], and that thy name may be upon them, and thy glory round about them, and thine angels have charge over them;

In taking the sacrament, one of our covenants (made possible by the Atonement) is that we will take upon us the name of Christ. That means many things, and I think it can mean different things to different people, as the Spirit dictates. But what it meant to me when I heard it in the temple is that one way that we take Christ’s name upon us is through temple worship. In turn, that brought to mind the oft-repeated phrase from Isaiah? Joseph Smith? Obadiah, it turns out, and it’s not even the whole phrase, “Saviors on Mount Zion”:

And saviours shall come up on mount Zion to judge the mount of Esau; and the kingdom shall be the LORD’s. (Obadiah 1:21)

The composite phrase, it would seem, indeed comes from Joseph Smith:

All those who die in the faith go to the prison of spirits to preach to the dead in body, but they are alive in the spirit; and those spirits preach to the spirits [who are in prison] that they may live according to God in the spirit, and men do minister for them in the flesh; . . . and they are made happy by these means [see 1 Peter 4:6]. Therefore, those who are baptized for their dead are the saviors on Mount Zion, and they must receive their washings and their anointings for their dead the same as for themselves. (Quoted by George Laub, in compilation of excerpts from Joseph Smith’s discourses, ca. 1845; George Laub, Reminiscences and Journal Jan. 1845–Apr. 1857, p. 21, Church Archives.)

But to get to the point, we take Christ’s name and power upon us a little bit more each time we’re engaged in His work—and especially when that work directly leads to others’ salvation, as does our work in the temple. So now I need not puzzle over what I can do to take Christ’s name upon me this week; I can make the two-minute drive to the Logan Temple and get to work.

Library Science Response: 1 of 1

2011-07-10T22:00:00.003-06:00

Dear Robert Heaton:

Congratulations on your acceptance to the online Master of Science Degree Program in Library and Information Science in The iSchool [trendy shortening of “College of Information Science and Technology”] at Drexel University. We are pleased that you have chosen Drexel for your professional study and hope that you will find the program stimulating and challenging. . . .

AND

Dear Robert Heaton:

Congratulations on receiving an iSchool Part Time Dean’s Fellowship (Level 1) from the iSchool at Drexel University. Being selected as a Dean's Fellow reflects our recognition of your accomplishments. . . .

[FYI, Drexel University is in Philadelphia, but if I go on to complete this degree (which would require getting a job and, ideally, one related to library science), it would be completely online. Drexel’s program is rated 9th nationally by U.S. News, 6th for digital librarianship, which would be one of my specializations.]

Round Two: 9 down, 0 to go!

2011-04-08T22:56:00.002-06:00

Dear Robert:

Congratulations! I am pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to the Graduate School of Northern Illinois University for the Fall 2011 semester to pursue a Doctoral degree in English. To accept your admission, go to the Student Center in MyNIU. Failure to do so will prohibit you from registering for classes.

You should arrange with your new department for an appointment to meet with an academic adviser prior to your first registration as a graduate student. Any deficiencies still to be resolved will be determined upon your arrival.

If you are unable to enroll for the stated semester/session, you may petition the Graduate School, in writing, to defer your admission up to but not beyond two years. Such deferment is subject to approval by your major department or program and the Graduate School, and your request must be received by the Graduate School no later than the end of the semester/session for which you have been admitted. Failure to enroll for the stated semester/session or to defer admission by the last day of classes for Fall 2011 will result in cancellation of your admission.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact the Graduate School. Again, congratulations on your admission.

Round Two: 8 down, 1 to go

2011-04-08T22:53:00.001-06:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

I regret to inform you that the Graduate Studies Committee, having carefully reviewed your file, has not recommended your admission to the English Graduate Program in British & American Literature. We appreciate your interest in the University of Utah and wish you success in your academic and professional endeavors.

Round Two: 7 down, 2 to go

2011-03-11T10:22:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

We were pleased to consider your application for graduate studies at the University of Notre Dame.

We are sorry to report that we are unable to admit you at this time. This decision should not be viewed as an evaluation of your acceptability as a graduate student, but rather as an indication of the degree of competition in your department.

Trusting that you will find satisfactory placement at another school of your choice, we wish you success in your future academic work. Thank you for your interest in the graduate programs of the University of Notre Dame.

Round Two: 6 down, 3 to go

2011-03-07T14:28:00.001-07:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

Our faculty has carefully reviewed your application, and I regret very much to inform you that we are unable to grant you admission to graduate study in the Department of English Language and Literature. Admission decisions to our graduate programs are made based on a combination of qualifications, preparation and academic fit with the faculty.

We thank you for considering the University of Chicago and sincerely hope that you will have the opportunity to pursue your academic interests in another graduate program.

Round Two: 5 down, 4 to go

2011-03-07T14:26:00.002-07:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

Thank you for your application to the English program at Southern Methodist University.

Admission to graduate programs at SMU is highly competitive. Although your application has much to recommend it, there are only limited spaces available in your area of interest. I regret to inform you that your application has not been accepted.

Your interest in our university is appreciated, and if you have any questions about your application, please feel free to call the department or our office. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Round Two: 4 down, 5 to go

2011-03-01T16:02:00.002-07:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

Your credentials and application for admission to the English program for Autumn 2011 have been given careful consideration by the Graduate Studies Committee. I regret to inform you that the committee did not approve your application to the Graduate School.

The committee’s decision was reached after careful evaluation of your qualifications in comparison with those of other applicants and is in no way intended to reflect upon your ability to undertake study as a graduate student.

Your interest in the Graduate School at Ohio State is sincerely appreciated. On behalf of the Graduate Studies Committee, I wish you the best of success in your future endeavors.

Round Two: 3 down, 6 to go

2011-02-23T21:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Robert,

Our Admissions Committee has given careful consideration to your application, but I am sorry to report that we are unable to offer you admission into the Graduate English program at the University of Texas at Austin. We do not give out our statistical information or the reasons for our decisions. This year we had many well-qualified applicants for only a few places. Making decisions in such a hyper-competitive environment is both challenging and chastening, and we are indeed aware that exemplary as well as worthy applicants have been denied admission.

Nevertheless, we wish you the best with your plans for future study.

Round Two: 2 down, 7 to go

2011-02-22T10:46:00.002-07:00

Dear Mr. Heaton:

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your application to the [University of Michigan] Ph.D. program in English Language and Literature. Unfortunately, after giving your application very careful attention, we regret to say we will not be able to make you an offer of admission.

It may be useful for you to know that we received a high volume of applications for admission to the Ph.D. program. Our entering class next year will be approximately 12 students, which should give you some idea of the odds. What these figures do not convey is the exceptionally high quality of our applicants. In the vast majority of our decisions, we felt that we were choosing among degrees of excellence. We very much regret that we are able to take such a small number of applicants out of this tremendously well-qualified pool.

Please accept our best wishes for your success in future endeavors.

(Blogger’s note: Compare to the post “Grad school response No. 3,” from March 2, 2009.)

Round Two: 1 down, 8 to go

2011-01-29T12:08:00.000-07:00

Our admissions committee in the Northwestern English department has finished reviewing the files of everyone applying for Fall 2011 admission to our doctoral program and has now made final decisions. I'm sorry to say that the committee is unable to extend you an offer of admission for the coming year.

Competition for limited space in our program was fiercer than ever this year, and we have been obliged to turn down many outstanding applicants. You will be able to view the official decision letter via ApplyYourself shortly, but we appreciated your allowing us to review your credentials and felt that your application deserved a brief word from us directly.We wish you all the best in the coming year. Thank you for your application to Northwestern.

2 Nephi 2

2010-01-18T13:49:00.005-07:00

This year I started reading the Book of Mormon again. I’ve found lots of great things so far, and I thought I’d share one of them.

When I read 2 Nephi 2 this time through, the beginning of the chapter struck me rather differently than it had before. I guess I never really paid much attention to it, instead looking forward to “the good stuff” about the Savior in verses 6–8 and about opposition, etc., in verses 11 onward. But this time, it struck me that Lehi spends a lot of time establishing the idea that it can never be by our own merits that we are saved:

...I know that thou art redeemed, because of the righteousness of thy Redeemer (verse 3)

...the way is prepared from the fall of man, and salvation is free (verse 4)

...by the law no flesh is justified; or, by the law men are cut off (verse 5)

...he [Christ] offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered (verse 7)

It is especially interesting that Lehi uses this idea to set up his teachings on the doctrine of agency. If it is really Christ’s merits that save us, rather than our own actions, how does our dependence on Christ reinforce Lehi’s teachings on agency?

I believe Lehi’s teachings on agency reach their culmination in verse 27:

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

So, one thing Lehi teaches is that knowledge is an important feature of agency. I like to think of Heavenly Father’s plan as The Plan of Education. The most important things we gain here on Earth are the knowledge Heavenly Father has and the desire to choose righteously. Because Adam understood the importance of agency, he chose to partake of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil—and while the action may have been symbolic, its effects are quite literal.

And so, verse 27 teaches us about the one decision that is ours to make, the one decision that matters: choosing God or Satan. The Light of Christ educates all men and women sufficiently that they can make that choice, and do so according to their own will, thereafter “to be judged of him [Christ] according to the truth and holiness which is in him” (verse 10). Adam understood the interactions between knowledge of truth, action, and individual judgment.

But to end where we (and Lehi) began, Christ is the only one with the power to save us. That means that when we make the one critical decision, accepting Christ, we gain access to His power to save us: “...and they that believe in him shall be saved” (verse 9). On the other hand, we can choose Satan’s power, “which giveth the spirit of the devil power to captivate” (verse 29)—which power he would not otherwise have (were we not to choose him).

Looking at agency as Lehi understood it brings together so many principles of the gospel: faith, obedience, humility, repentance, covenants, and, most importantly, the infinite necessity and power of Christ’s Atonement.

On Baby Names

2009-12-06T21:22:00.006-07:00

Today’s three baby blessings got me thinking about baby names. So here are my tentative rules on making that most significant of choices.

Rule #1

No words that mean stuff.

Of course, Priya = sweetheart (or whatever it means) isn’t what I’m talking about here. I mean, words that mean stuff to everyone.

For example: Ocean, Winter, Apple, Tag, Hunter, Rain.

I mean, it’s just silly. Even if you for some reason associate your child with that thing (price tag, anyone?), it’s just not doing anyone any favors. If it means something, it’s not okay.

Rule #2

No ridiculous spellings.

Family names tend to cause people enough trouble anyway. There’s no reason to add “character” with silly spellings.

For example: Whyiat (for Wyatt), Justan (for Justin), Ceighteigh (for Katie—and yes, that’s a real-life example).

The kids themselves will be confused when learning to spell, teachers and other adults will be confused when trying to pronounce. And when the kids grow up they ought to have better things to do than wonder how their parents came up with the strange spelling of their names.

Rule #3

No awkwardly gender-neutral names.

The draw here is obvious: pick the name, then have the baby. Perfect match every time!

Except it’s tough enough to deal with gender identity stuff in today’s world. Why add to the confusion?

For example: Taylor, Jamie, Jordan, Tracy, Adrian.

I’m sure we could all name plenty of people with such names that have gone on to lead happy, successful lives. But deep down, I’m sure they’ve all struggled, right?

Now, maybe at some point I’ll come up with some rules that are actually productive... This is just what happened to come to mind today.

Grad student stuff

2009-09-06T12:06:00.002-06:00

My second week as an official graduate student has come to an end. I have to admit, it's gone by pretty quickly, so I'm a bit anxious to start making some goals to make sure I'm focusing my efforts toward the things that I really want to accomplish. For now, I'm glad to report that I feel I have a pretty good rapport with my students, and I don' think I've screwed up anything too major as far as keeping up with my own classes. (As you can see, I have some high standards for myself...)

It's very exciting, actually, to be where we need to be now. I'm seeing more and more the ways that the masters program at Utah State is the right place for me. My classes are easing me nicely into working, thinking, and feeling like a graduate student. I have the opportunity to teach freshman and to get to know professors closely, which would be more difficult at any school that also had PhD students in need of those same experience and taking priority over masters students. I feel like I'm able to have good, solid ideas in my reading here, and I also have classmates and professors that are quite capable of challenging those ideas, adding to my observations, and helping me see things in new and different ways.

One of the most interesting things I'm studying is some of the research on composition teaching--a lot of which applies to all teaching. For instance, I've been reading about grading papers and how most grading simply stifles students' confidence and doesn't actually help them to learn. It's as if the teacher encourages them to think for themselves, but then once they get their graded paper back, they figure out that what the teacher really wants is for students to think like them. So, working on my students' first papers this week, I've been trying to figure out how exactly to comment on their work in a way that will encourage them to keep writing and yet justify the grade I've given them.

Anyway, I'm excited to keep moving forward with my grad school experiences. I'll try to let everyone know how things are going as they go.

Grad school response No. 5

2009-08-09T16:00:00.002-06:00

Utah State University
Department of English

Dear Robert,

With the approval of the School of Graduate Studies, the English department is pleased to inform you that your application has been approved and you have been accepted to begin graduate study at Utah State University. Congratulations on your achievement!

Your acceptance details are as follows:

Student Number:
Starting Term: Fall, 2009
Advisor: Prof. Keith Grant-Davie
Department: English
Program: Literature & Writing
Degree: MA

* * *

We wish you success in your academic pursuits and trust that your experience here will be both pleasant and rewarding.

Sincerely,
Keith Grant-Davie
Associate Professor
Director of Graduate Studies in English

Good News (already?)

2009-07-29T15:00:00.002-06:00

So. I apologize for not cleverly having the school’s official response, since I don’t happen to have it in front of me. However, I may have enough sarcasm to make up for it.

At any rate, the good news is this: Utah State University has accepted me into their masters of literature and writing program, to begin August 24th. The not-quite-as-good news is that they are not likely to have work or funding for me until the second year of the program.

Anyway, finally we can get to work on our long to-do list, beginning with finding/committing to an apartment.

TTFN!

Burned Brownie

2009-06-19T09:46:00.003-06:00

In an effort to get back into my blog (we’ll see how that goes), I thought I’d start with something short.

Beth made some exquisite brownies the other day, mostly as a birthday cake for Jonathan. Of course, he’s watching his figure so he can fit into his tux in a week… Anyway, I heated one up last night and put chocolate ice cream on it. Mmmm… (I even let Beth have some.)

Well, when we went for a second helping, I guess I left it in the microwave a bit too long (probably 40+ seconds), and it started billowing yellow smoke profusely and giving off this caustic burning smell. There was a yellow spot under the brownie, too—probably where the oil seeped out and started to burn(?).

I actually took the little plate outside because it smelled so bad, and then I found that it had left the smell on my hands, too, though I think this morning’s shower finally got rid of it.

The “treat” is now on our kitchen counter, hard as doornail. (Yes, I know mixing clichés doesn’t really excuse them.)

Grad school response No. 4

2009-03-18T15:07:00.001-06:00

Thank you for your interest in Notre Dame's Graduate Program in English. Unfortunately, we are unable to offer you admission into our program. We received over 300 applications for eight slots, so the level of competition was very high.

Because we receive so many applications, we are unable to provide comments on individual applications.

Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Grad school response No. 3

2009-03-02T17:28:00.001-07:00

This one came in the mail.

Dear Mr. Heaton,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your application to the [Michigan] Ph.D. program in English Language and Literature. Unfortunately, after giving your application very careful attention, we regret to say we will not be able to make you an offer of admission.

It may be useful for you to know that we received over 375 applications for admission to the Ph.D. program. Our entering class next year will be in the neighborhood of 12 students, which should give you some idea of the odds. What these figures do not convey is the exceptionally high quality of our applicants. In the vast majority of our decisions, we felt that we were choosing among degrees of excellence. It is distressing to us all that we are able to take such a small number of applicants out of this tremendously well-qualified pool.

Please accept our best wishes for your success in future endeavors.

Grad school reply No. 2

2009-02-28T22:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Robert Scott Heaton,

We have had time to review thoroughly your application, the supporting papers submitted in your behalf and the recommendation made by the department to which you have applied. I regret to inform you that on the basis of this joint consideration, we are unable to approve your admission to graduate study. Graduate education is characterized by extremely small classes and close mentoring by faculty. As a result, programs have only a limited number of available positions. Each year we receive many more applications than can be accommodated; consequently, many highly qualified applicants are often excluded.

Should you have questions concerning your application, I would suggest that you write directly to the Director of Graduate Studies in the department (please consult http://artsandsciences.virginia.edu/grad/ for their address) or to me.

With best wishes for the future.

Grad school reply No. 1

2009-02-23T12:18:00.001-07:00

Or should I say "'No' No. 1" . . .:

Dear Mr. Heaton:

Thank you for applying to our Graduate School for the 2009-2010 academic year. While I assure you that the materials you submitted were carefully reviewed by the faculty in the Department of English and by the Graduate School, I regret to inform you that the department did not recommend your admission for the coming year.

The number of places available at Princeton for entering graduate students is extremely limited and we cannot offer admission to all who are well-qualified. Indeed, many departments consistently have applicants who would be admitted without hesitation if the resources were available. Our decisions take into account not only the applicants’ merits, but also the suitability of the department’s programs to the candidates’ expressed interests. Our goal is to achieve a sound match between the strengths of our programs and the interests of the relatively small number of outstanding students that can be accommodated.

We chose to advise you of our decision via email on the assumption that a timely response would outweigh the informality of this means of communication. I would be happy to provide a formal letter upon request.

I wish you success in your plans for graduate study and thank you for considering Princeton University.

Come, ye children of the Lord

2009-02-15T13:40:00.002-07:00

I had a lovely day at church, observing all the funny things the kids do.

First, during sacrament meeting, we were sitting at the front of the cultural hall (just behind the last row of the chapel seats). When it came time for the actual blessing and passing of the sacrament, there was a little girl just a few rows back that was singing, quite loudly, "Come, Ye Children of the Lord." Since she's only . . . three or so, she didn't seem to know the actual words, but she knew the melody perfectly. Well, I think once she got through the whole song once, she kept looping back into the chorus. But because of the wood floor we were on, it echoed forward pretty well. So we saw people in front of us turning around to see who it was, since it was going on for a few minutes. But nobody that I saw seemed bothered by it; we were all smiling at the beautiful voice, and I'm sure her parents were glad that she wasn't doing a multitude of more disruptive things.

The second funny thing was watching two brothers (step-brothers, actually), about 8 and 9, as they "reverently" left the chapel for a bathroom break. As they've been drilled in Primary, they folded their arms as they walked. But their manner of doing it is what made me chuckle. Rather than holding their forearms both parallel to the floor, they basically crossed them and then flexed their wrists awkwardly to wrap their hands behind their arms somehow. Add to this a hunched lean forward and a plodding mope of a walk, and it becomes quite funny. And to top it off, they both have the same posture and mannerisms.

Well, another few grins came from the young family behind us as the dad tried to keep one of his kids (I'm not sure whether it was his three-ish-year-old girl or the younger boy) from tossing my books on the floor. We were on the standard church-issue metal folding chairs, which, with their seats' slope toward the backrest, don't make very good book stands in the first place. After the kid surprised us (me and the dad) by dragging my children's songbook and scriptures onto the floor behind me, he (she?) entertained him-/herself the rest of the meeting by testing to see whether Dad could catch the hymnbook every time before it clattered to the floor. Dad tried the distract-with-another-toy method, and the child seemed to be an expert in the I'll-cry-if-you-try-to-hold-me technique, so it was an entertaining battle.

Finally — and this one's my favorite — for sharing time in Primary, the kids "played a game" where they ("reverently," as always) came to the front to punch a hole through tissue paper attached to some poster board. The tissue-paper circles covered plastic bags attached behind the poster board, and once they punched through the paper, they reached in for a little picture or cut-out of some kind, and then they listened to a story or answered questions related to what they found there. Well, the first boy to go up front took about three hits to break through the tissue paper. He was from the oldest class in Junior Primary (and therefore presumably among the strongest children there), so I think I'll have to give the poster-holders some of the blame for that, especially since they were still getting the hang of it. Well, the really funny part was the second person to come up, a little girl in the class just above Sunbeams. She reverently strolled up with her chin up and her arms at her sides and a peaceful look on her face. When she got to the poster board, she gave it a good loud whack, breaking through the tissue paper immediately; then she strolled back to her seat just as calmly as she had come. All the adult-types got a good giggle out of that.

That's about all I remember at the moment, but it was nice to get some joy from the little ones around us. And with baby Priya's first birthday party yesterday — and a few of her peers visiting to celebrate — we've had quite a kid-filled weekend!

A sunrise in the west?

2009-01-08T14:16:00.003-07:00

So, I experienced something strangely cool on this morning's drive to work. I like walking to work, but I've been driving lately because of the depth of the recent snow. I suppose it's fortunate that I drove because without a rearview mirror, I may not have seen it had I walked.

I pulled onto 500 North, and right after I did, I glanced in the mirror and noticed the colors of the rising sun behind me. "Pretty" was my first thought, but it only took an instant before I began to be confused. I looked ahead of me at Y Mountain and its cohorts and recalled one of the early bits of advice I received when I came to Provo: the mountains (meaning the big set of them) are on the east, and that Timpanogos-looking one is to the north.

If that's east . . . and the sun rises in the . . . east . . . why am I seeing a sunrise behind me?

Well, fortunately I didn't remain in my stupor of thought for long as I took a closer look in the mirror and realized that what I was seeing behind me was a smaller mountain range (the Lake Mountains?), whose snow was reflecting the colored light of the sunrise. The funny thing was that at that time of morning (about 8:30), I couldn't see the actual sunrise ahead of me because the mountains were still in the way. But I could see it behind me!

(And yes, of course, the mountain picture is just some random image from the Internet, not actually my own photo.) :(

Some thoughts on my thoughts

2008-12-31T10:57:00.004-07:00

So, I'm reading a lovely book I got for Christmas, Shakespeare: The Invention of the Human. It's written by Harold Bloom, perhaps the most well-read man alive and a famous critic. Or perhaps he's more infamous than famous: While his opinions are well known and often cited, they are nearly as often dismissed. At any rate, in Shakespeare criticism, he's a scholar to be reckoned with.

I'm about 100 pages into the book (which has some 745 pages), and I've begun making a list of huge claims that he makes in passing but offers no evidence for. For example, he says that Christopher Marlowe — the other great Renaissance dramatist, who was famous several years before Shakespeare — essentially invented the dramatic form that Shakespeare used and that Shakespeare only added inwardness and individuality of characters. I've got a couple other such statements on my list, and I'm pretty sure that at some point I'm either going to do some research to decide for myself whether his assertions are true, or I'm going to use them as classroom exercises/writing assignments.

So. To the point. The latest thing I read struck me as a stretch — the kind of stretch that is common in much of modern literary criticism, drawing inferences that I definitely would not arrive at on my own. But what really hit me was the idea that maybe he was right. Maybe, just maybe, this most famous of literary critics was actually a better, more "accurate" reader than I am. Now, I'd had that thought before, but what hit me even harder was a new idea: What has the greatest influence on how I understand an author? Is it what the author says or what I already believe? More specifically, Do I allow myself to believe that others' opinions match mine until explicitly proven otherwise?

And now I'm intrigued by the question. I value literature and scholarly writing because they can expand the ways I envision the world. But it has now occurred to me that I really don't let outside perspectives influence me as much as I thought? In fact, according to my new hypothesis, it's quite the opposite: I read myself into others' writing, thereby removing the possibility of real influence from them. And once I discover something authentically foreign, do I automatically dismiss it, or do I allow it to interact with my established beliefs until I incorporate it, exclude it, or provisionally accept it?

So what really interests me is the fact that over all the years of reading that I've done, I may have been thoughtlessly reinforcing my own perspectives by interpolating them into what I've been reading. Now, I don't have a problem with genuine inquiry into an author's ideas and then using their new ideas to strengthen what I already believed, whether their overall ideas agree with mine or not. But I'm worried that instead of that kind of inquiry, I've merely been toodling along, believing that each author's critical assumptions matched my own until proven otherwise. I don't know if it's really true, but I suppose I'll have to think more carefully about it as I read in the future.

Someday My PhD will come . . .

2008-09-12T21:08:00.002-06:00

So, speaking of Shakespeare . . . I've finally taken some time to get to work on my research paper, one of the many requirements for my grad school applications. I went through King Lear and made a note of every time the word "nature," "natural," or "unnatural" appeared (along with "Nature," "disnatured," etc.). According to the spreadsheet I put together, there are approximately 40 instances of those words in the play — insignificant? coincidence? I think not. But the interesting thing is that it's not just talking about, say, Mother Nature, or just human nature: it's about the natural affection a child should have for a parent, the natural role of royalty, a "natural" child meaning illegitimate, and so on and so on.

Anyway, I need to get to work on it, but I'm not exactly sure how the paper is going to come together. I think I can probably argue that the differences in how the words are used actually come together to form a central theme. Another theme that I think is interesting — but which, I'm sure, has been adequately covered by other writers — is the spoken attitude of characters toward Deity and Justice (along with the apparent attitudes of Deity toward the characters). So one idea I have is to discuss the failures of "nature," in the many ways it is perceived by the characters of the play, and the ways in which divine justice does or does not compensate for those failings.

Anyway, meanwhile I also have to worry about choosing schools to apply to, two GREs to worry about, letters to write for each school, CVs to prepare, and transcripts to request (not to mention the money required for the majority of those). So I'm quite busy.

At any rate, I'm back on my blog! (Maybe I'll do it again sometime.)

The Big News

2007-03-21T09:03:00.000-06:00

What do you get when you combine a

with a

?

Okay, okay. So I'm getting married . . . You know, it's just one of those things that you really can't do justice in telling about, so I've been putting off telling about it. So there you go. :P

How Many of YOU?

2007-03-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

So, here we go, thanks to Emily and Rachel. The website gives some other statistics, my favorite of which being the following: "99.75 percent of people with the first name Robert are male." Hmm. That's, well, a fairly high number . . .

HowManyOfMe.com

There are:
229
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

Adventures in Seminary Teaching

2006-12-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

November 27-December 8. My two weeks as a seminary teacher. Two days of 0bserving the class and then (theoretically) eight days of teaching. I was at Timpview High School, about a 25-minute walk from my campus job (about 5 minutes driving). A normal day meant about 22 students; others, as low as maybe 15. The scripture block for the eight days I was teaching was Doctrine and Covenants 60-67.

Strange days, what can I say. On average, I stayed up about two hours past midnight and did no other homework for other classes while I was preparing my lessons for the next day. In general, though, the lessons were ready to be taught when the time came. Except the first Thursday. I thought it was ready, but it wasn't so good. I was stumbling through things to say, wondering where my notes were leading me, and then (not knowing exactly when the class ended - oops) ending class a full eight minutes(!) early. But that was better than my not showing up on Wednesday . . . (It's not as bad as it sounds. I missed my ride due to miscommunication or absentmindedness, or something like that; but the class period was only 12 minutes anyway because of some assembly or teacher meeting or I don't know what.)

That first day of teaching was very, very tough on me, actually. That's probably a story for another day, but I wasn't exactly feeling great about myself.

This past week was much, much better. It was especially easier once I had some grasp on a few names of students - but more on that later. And by then, too, they'd pretty much accepted the fact that I was going to be boring, so that helped them move on and try to learn something regardless, I think. As I already knew from observing and from the teacher's comments to me, this class was a special challenge because they were basically devoid of energy. Okay, so every once in a while, they had some distracted energy, but it was seldom that they really seemed much interested, collectively, in what was going on.

Already facing the (adequately foreseen) personal difficulty of getting the planning stage underway - i.e., choosing which principles to emphasize, deciding what type of activities to use for each, etc. - I really just didn't have time or energy to dream up creative activities that would get the students energized and interested. I suppose if I thought that was really what they needed, I would have tried to come up with something like that, at least every couple of classes.

It was very interesting to read the students' evaluations of me this morning. Some responses tended to reflect more on each student's personal interest and participation than on my teaching, but others were definitely directed directly at me myself. For example, on "things to work on," quite a few students said something like this (these are paraphrased): "try not to mumble so much" (I tried very hard!), and "do more exciting activities to keep us involved"; some said there was nothing I needed to do differently; one said s/he just wished I could get them to sing (that one I really didn't work on, though it was definitely lacking). Then there were the more involved responses, like the one (whose owner I think I can identify) that had a "*" and footnote pointing out that his responses reflected more on his negative position towards seminary as an institution than on me as a teacher (oddly, his responses were better than most - almost overwhelmingly positive). And yet another was directed to me, saying I'd done a great job and reminding me that even Brother Woodward, their normal teacher, found it difficult to encourage meaningful participation.

Of course, to top it all off, and on the day I was being observed by my teacher and two others, and once I'd finally become comfortable with everyone's names (this was my last day of teaching), I called Melissa on the front row "Jessica." She wasn't exactly responsive, and I clearly wasn't getting it, so Allison in the back shouted out, "Her name's 'Melissa'." Great. Fabulous. And even better, I ran into another student teacher whom I was barely acquainted with from my trips to the Referral Center at the MTC last year, and I could remember her name just fine. I was already laughing about it, but it was honestly frustrating.

There were bright spots to the experience, and I really love the students and was very impressed with most of them. The whole thing, though, further brought to light my feeling that the job would be much better suited to someone else. But I've learned a lot about gospel teaching in the last two semesters, and I'm sure I'll use much of that knowledge the rest of my life.

I am very grateful, as well, that that feeling had already been growing in me before I started to teach. I'd been feeling much more interest, even more than before, in getting started down some career path in translation. That was the decision I had come to for my little self, since I knew I would need to decide (by today, actually) whether I would want them to use my eight-day experience to consider me for a student teaching position for next semester, or whether my journey down the seminary-teaching road was over (at least for now).

That's it, really. A lot to learn in the last couple of weeks, but I have been glad to do it. I also got to become friends with a guy from my class, Dave Card, who gave me a ride each day. It was great to chat with him about his plans each day and mostly just be encouraged about the whole situation.

D&C 121:33-46

2006-11-27T00:02:00.000-07:00

The concentration of doctine in these verses has meant a lot to me and taught me quite a bit lately, so I felt I would like to share them with you:

"How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri River in its decreed course, or to turn it upstream, as to hinder the Almighty from pouring down knowledge from heaven upon the heads of the Latter-day Saints.

"Behold, there are many called, but few are chosen; and why are they not chosen?

"Because their hearts are set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson:

"That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness;

"That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved, and when it is withdrawn, amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.

"Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to kick against the pricks, to persecute the saints, and to fight against God.

"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion;

"Hence many are called, but few are chosen.

"No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

"By kindness, and pure knowledge which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hipocrisy and without guile--

"Reproving betimes with sharpness when moved upon by the Holy Ghost, and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy,

"That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death.

"Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith; and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God, and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

"The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever."

My Magic Music Box

2006-09-20T09:28:00.000-06:00

It's the weirdest thing: I'm at work, looking through my songs on Windows Media Player, wondering why a song I recently downloaded isn't showing up on my playlist that should include every song I've ever had in my part of the computer (since there's someone else that has a different login for the same computer for the afternoon shift). Well, in attempting to solve the mystery of the missing song, I found in the Tools menu a 'tool' called Search for Media Files and thought "this might be just what I'm looking for" . . .

Well, I clicked on it and clicked OK until it did what it was supposed to do. It ended up being good, bad, and, well, interesting. First, the 'interesting' part: the old secretary, Amy, apparently still has songs saved somewhere on the computer, and now I have them on my playlist, too. That's interesting because she has some interesting [read: "rap"] music . . .

Second, the 'bad': for some reason, it didn't recognize which songs I already had in my Media Player list, so a ton of my songs were now on my list TWICE. Wonderful. Just what I always wanted, having to go through my entire song list and delete every other song. Wonderful.

Finally, the 'good' part: some music I had put on the computer at some point in my lifetime (maybe even before they switched out the actual physical computers here at work) showed up. That included a Spanish CD I loved that I lent to a friend and never got back (I've always wondered if it was understood to be lent). And some other ones I'd almost forgotten about. That was fun.

"Are my pickles too loud?"

2006-07-26T16:52:00.000-06:00

The first star I see may not be a star -
I can't do a thing but wait,
So let's wait for one more.

And the time, such clumsy time,
In deciding if it's time.
I'm careful but not sure how it goes.
You can lose yourself in your courage.

When the time we have now ends,
And when the big hand goes around again,
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?

And the mindless comfort grows
When I'm alone with my 'great' plans.
This is what she said gets her through it
'If I don't let myself be happy now, then when? If not now when?'

When the time we have now ends,
And when the big hand goes around again,
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?

I close my eyes and believe
That wherever you are, an angel for me.

When the time we have now ends,
And when the big hand goes around again,
Can you still feel the butterflies?
Can you still hear the last goodnight?

That's all.

"Stay away from the Village, People"

2006-07-20T16:26:00.000-06:00

Pretty crazy night. I finally watched The Village, and I really think I like it a lot. I really wish I would've watched it, for the first time, at least, in a theater, where there would be, ideally, considerably fewer distractions. It was pretty tough to stay 'caught up' in it, given the goings-on of the apartment. But I really think I like it anyways.

Mostly, I think what stuck with me was 1) the love story - how Lucius and Ivy related with each other, along with what they did for each other, 2) the cinematography - the emotional build-up of a couple of key scenes, along with the themes they had in there (mostly their holding hands, reaching, etc.), and 3) the moral questions of the way the elders ran the village and why, etc.

Besides finding a movie that I think I'll have to own, at least at some point, I had a pleasantly exciting night in that I got asked on two dates during the course of the evening (both upon returning phone calls that I received during the movie - the lesson? . . .). Gratefully, the dates of the dates didn't conflict with one another or with anything I have/had planned for the coming weekends. Neither invitation was what I would call 'expected,' but both are from girls I would have liked to ask out, and probably would have, at least eventually . . .

Anyways, I guess it's not something that happens every day, so I felt to share it. Thank you.

My latest question in the dating game

2006-07-12T16:41:00.000-06:00

So, I was thinking how it's funny that my latest posts have been asking questions for others to respond to. I guess that's just because I think 'my readers' are more interested in being involved in a conversation about my life than they would be in just hearing about it . . . That said:

The latest question is one for the coming weekend, but it happens to have my interest generally at the moment as well. Here's the deal: I really, really am interested in this girl - we'll call her 'Emily,' for short . . . Anyways, say I've asked her out a few times lately, and I've seen her the last couple of weekends (and I'm just really impressed with who she is). Also, she's from Salt Lake, so she has to drive down to Provo (if that's where it is that I am to see her, I guess - and as I don't exactly drive . . .) - but then, she drives down every day for work and/or school anyways, so my impression is that it's not a huge deal for her to make the drive.

Anyways, the dilemma I'm having is this: my roommate and I are planning a double date, and in thinking of anyone I'd kind of like to ask out, I find myself coming back to Emily in terms of who I would most like to do those things with. Now, that's not a problem in itself, of course. And I wouldn't have any problem with spending that time with her. But I don't know, with the few times we've been together, exactly how interested Emily is in me in the whole dating sense. So I hate to monopolize her (weekend) time if she's just not that interested. (I don't say that with any premonition or observation that she's not interested; I'm just trying to be reasonable and fair, given the amount of time (+/- 1 month) we've known each other.)

But then, there's the argument that she's perfectly capable of either telling me she's not interested or making up a good excuse as to why she's not available this (or any other) weekend. With that in mind, I would be inclined to just keep asking her out until she gives a definitive 'not interested' sign of some kind.

But the reason I'm asking the question is this: say we're both (at least) a little interested in each other. Even so, I think it would be 'inappropriate,' in one way or another, to call her up and expect to hang out every day. It would be unnecessary and excessive and probably just annoying - and probably not exactly healthy. I'm really not interested in doing that. But where do you draw the line? Is every weekend too much? Or does it just depend on the situation?

Now, in writing this, I realize how silly it sounds to me because I'm really not all that concerned with overanalyzing the reality of the situation to see what I 'should' do. I think I'll take another five minutes or so to decide whether I really, really want to see her or whether I think it would be good to back off just a little bit and ask out some other girl. Hmm.

Basically, then, I just want some validation of my ideas - does my concern make sense? Is it totally unreasonable? Or is it just something to have in mind, but not something that should be a major factor in the dating game?

What do you think?

2006-05-23T08:42:00.000-06:00

Do you think you can tell more about who someone is by 1) who their family is or 2) who their friends are?

(So as not to say only good things about myself . . .)

2006-05-22T15:56:00.000-06:00

I've found myself to be . . . 'annoyingly independent' lately. Kind of like a little kid, maybe putting on shoes a way that's just wrong, never willing to accept help from anyone. Luckily, it doesn't seem to be seeping into every aspect of my life, but I've seen it a couple of times so far.

The first time I noticed it was when my new roommate, Marty, seemed to think that I needed to know how he cuts his strawberries - and he wouldn't let me do it the way I felt more comfortable without making sure I at least tried doing it his way. It was rather frustrating. Not only did I not want to have anyone tell me I was doing something wrong in the cooking world, but I just didn't like the way he wanted me to do it. Hmm.

The other example that comes to mind was the adamance (or 'adamancy' - if they're both words, why do they both exist?) the same roommate showed in explaining how much money he's saved since he stopped buying shaving cream . . . Apparently he just uses (cheap) soap now, instead. I think I felt much better about this conversation than the earlier one, probably because I had a response to his comment that I was more satisfied with: soap dries out my skin too much. :: roll eyes ::

Anyways. And I'm pretty sure something happened with a new guy at work that I just didn't like. Well - one such instance (though I'm sure there are others) was when he thought he knew what was going on in my phone conversation with a truck driver, and he thought his directions would be the be-all/end-all to get him here. Whatever.

I guess it's kind of a natural thing to feel how I do about these conversations, but I guess the real problem I'm finding with what's going on with me lately is that these things are kind of bugging me . . . Like I don't have control over my own reactions. I think it will just take a little work, though.

'The New Me'?

2006-05-21T15:19:00.000-06:00

I've noticed some things in myself that seem to have changed gradually over the last few years. I'll see if I can talk about it in a way that will make sense. (I guess that seems to be my quest generally - more of a problem when I'm actually talking in person and even more of a problem on the phone . . .)

So, I've never been the most . . . 'vocal' person around. I tend to be what some people would call 'shy,' though that's not normally how I would have characterized myself (for some reason). So, in seeking ways to serve people on a regular basis, I found a way that worked for me that wouldn't involve that kind of personal interaction that I've traditionally been less comfortable with: I write notes to people that 1) I really, deeply respect for one reason or another or that 2) I sense seem to be down, in need of some kind of comfort for some reason or another - whether I happen to know the reason or not. These notes are anonymous, and it's really something that's made me feel good to do. (I think there's something exciting, too, about sneaking around, sometimes early in the morning or whatever, putting notes on people's doors without anyone knowing about it.)

I've actually set up a 'system' for myself where I will keep track of who 'needs' a note (based on my observations) and when I write notes to whom, so I'm sure to do it for everyone that I've been impressed to do it for, while not skipping or repeating. Lately I haven't been super good at getting those out like I'd like (usually, it was every month or two that I would sit down and write six or eight notes at a time).

But then again, I've found myself changing. I imagine it has something to do with my calling as ward clerk, where I have the excuse/opportunity/challenge/whatever of meeting the people that move into the ward - and also, part of my job is to watch over the ward for the bishop (since I actually live around the ward members) and help him understand who needs what kind of help, etc. So that, and I'm sure other things - people I've associated with in different situations, etc. -, has made me a more 'vocal' person (i.e., I talk to people in situations where I don't have to). And I've found it very fulfilling.

A few months ago at work, I was going by the office of my boss's boss, Dwayne, and I had a simple but strangely eye-opening realization. I should explain the background for that realization. So, Dwayne seems like a nice enough guy, but he's just a little . . . 'gruff,' I guess. I know he lost a ton of weight in chemotherapy for I don't know exactly what (what kind of cancer, I mean), and he's got a deep gravelly voice, and he just doesn't smile a whole lot. When he comes over to talk to my boss or any of the full-time guys, he's never seemed to really even acknowledge that the students exist (which is especially strange for me, since I'm now the longest-employed student in my department, and I've worked in pretty much every area of the warehouse (i.e., I can do everybody else's job, too); in other words, I'm used to being kind of important, or at least I can answer pretty much anyone's question about what's going on in Central Receiving).

Anyways, walking by his office that one morning, I had a serious thought in a kind of light-hearted way, something like "What a grumpy old man; I'll bet he would be a lot happier if he were nicer to people . . ." I don't think my thought was really that direct or that . . . vindictive (or something); it was just a casual, passing thought. But then I had the meaningful insight: I'll bet if someone were nicer to this lonely old man, he would prove not to be so mean after all. I'll bet he has more important things to be thinking about than learning the names of all the part-time employees that he will see in passing maybe five minutes a month and who will probably leave the job after three months anyways(!).

And it turns out - of course - I was right! I've made it a point to say "hi" to him every time I'm passing his office to pick up my paperwork, and he seems so happy to have someone who acknowledges his existence for a reason other than to talk about his business stewardship. And he quickly learned my name (again, I don't know, but I doubt he had any idea what it was before I started talking to him), and he's all smiles, and it's just great to see him and talk to him and share an occasional moment that's day-brightening for both of us.

There are a few other examples I can think of, but that's the big one. I really feel different about what kind of things I can do, and I'm happy about it.

Random randomness

2006-05-12T16:39:00.000-06:00

My new favorite word is "sorp." (Don't worry - I checked: it's not a real word.)

I decided the difference between "Clocks" and "Speed of Sound" (both by Coldplay) is the following (besides the lyrics and titles): "Clocks" is from the album "A Rush of Blood to the Head," while "Speed of Sound" is from "X & Y"; the rhythm of "Clocks" is the following - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8, while "Speed of Sound," at the same tempo, is - 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 (and I just learned this text box doesn't recognize boldness when you cut and paste . . .); while the chord progression is similar in both, the background piano part in "Clocks" starts 8 5 3 8 5 3 8 5 7b 5 3b 7b 5 3b . . . and the "Speed of Sound" piano line starts 1, 1, 5 4 1b, 1b, 5 4 . . . Hmm.

Yesterday I had my first encounter with a crepe maker (machine, not person):

Very interesting experience. I would recommend using a recipe that doesn't have any butter/oil/etc. in it, since you stick the cooker part in the shallow pan part, and it doesn't grab the batter too well if it's too oily.

Grades!

2006-05-04T14:38:00.000-06:00

I just had to share this one grade with everyone out there: I got an "A" in my Russian 490R class, Special Studies in Russian. The reason I share this grade is that it will by far be the best grade I'll be getting for this past semester, sadly . . . That's all.

Jump Serve

2006-04-18T01:16:00.000-06:00

Today was the last day of volleyball class. Very, very sad. One funny thing was that I--along with most people in the class, I think-- just barely found out that Evan and Reid (Stevens, I think) are brothers, and not just good friends, like I'd thought. They're probably the two best players in the class. I would really love to be in a volleyball class with Jon. Someday.

Honestly, though, I've found myself looking forward to playing volleyball twice a week like nothing else. It's really made my day(s). I wonder if I can work coaching volleyball into my life somehow . . . Add it to the list, I guess.

Well, besides my lamentations over the loss of something beautiful in my life, one thing sticks out about my volleyball experience from today. Ever since the first day of class, I've been (actually) learning more and more about jump serving, something that I had just kind of played with a bit here and there before--and not something that I would even dare try in an intramural game or anything. But I have to admit that I've really gotten much better at it during this semester--maybe even to the point where I could say I'm good at it(!) (although we normally play on coed-height nets). But today was really cool for me because "Coach," a former All-American volleyball player for BYU, was right next to me, watching me serve, and she said something along the lines of "That's a really nice serve, Rob." Hmm. Wow. That really means something to me, I guess. Luckily, it's ("it was," that is) easy to be humble in that class, since I'm not exactly the best player there. But I fit in (past tense, that is) all right. :: sigh ::

Who Needs Subjunctive Anyways?

2006-04-05T22:45:00.000-06:00

Anyways, I don't have time to be putting this here, but I'm doing it anyways. I'm hard at work at the library, putting together my part of a group research paper (don't even get me started on the wiseity of that idea), and I'm typing along in Spanish . . .

And I put in the wonderful word, "surgirieran," referring to something "coming up" (in this case, it was Hitler's attacks in Eastern Europe at the start of WWII), only to find that the word the Word thinks I should have put in there is "sugirieran" (the same, but without the first 'r'). Now, don't get me wrong, my Spanish isn't perfect (well . . .), but I for sure know that the verb I'm conjugating is "surgir" - and the suggestion they're giving me just is not making sense at all.

Now, what I'm planning on writing down here has changed about three times since I started, as I get curious and explore new ideas to answer the strange question. But I think my final response to what's going on is this: Word is indeed trying to get me to use a different verb (the fourth new idea just came up and is now dominating), "sugerir," because (now this is important) I had typed it in wrong in the first place - it should have been "surgieran"(missing an 'ir' that had been in the middle there somewhere).

Anyways, between the confusing frustration and all my new ideas popping up, I've decided that wasn't really the tense/mood/whatever I'd wanted to use in the first place. (So, for those of you that really care, I ended up with "surgirían" . . .)

One of those days where I really do feel like I've learned something new (even if it is just how silly my mistakes are sometimes).

More on Flirting . . .

2006-03-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

So, the discussion regarding flirting has continued, and I had the opportunity to explore my actual feelings on what was previously discussed, and, with the help of an inquisitive friend or two, I was able to come to a personal conclusion (which I leave open for commentary):

I believe one can be "a flirt" without knowing it. I had always thought of flirting as some sort of conscious action, where one person willingly seeks to make clear some level of personal interest in a person of the opposite sex. But, reconsidering it, I realized that, regardless of the intentions of "the flirter," if those to whom those actions are directed may interpret/misinterpret the flirter's actions as possible interest in them, then those actions should, in fact, be considered flirting. (It's times like these when I value, and again disregard in my personal communications, the notion of giving up commas for Lent . . .) Hmm.

(I do in fact realize that, especially with the way I write things, the thoughts I put down here probably don't make any sense to anyone else, so if you understand something or other here, consider yourself lucky.) :)

The Dumbest Thing EVER!!!

2006-03-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry to risk sounding so . . . uh, angry, I guess, but I knew I just had to share this--because it is, in fact, the dumbest thing I have ever seen. :) (Click on the post title for the link, by the way . . .)

Oh Danny Boy

2006-03-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

So, I was on a nice midnight walk home from the library, when a nice young man named Danny pulled up next to me on the north side of the Brewster Building and rolled down his window to offer me a ride home. I figured I might as well, so he took me home, and we shared a few minutes of pleasant conversation. Luckily for him, it turns out he lives just a few blocks south of me, on the same street. He was very nice. (And he kind of reminded me of Kevin Fisher, for those of you who know him.) I thought that was worth sharing.

./` What a glorious feeling - I'm happy again! ./`

2006-03-16T15:31:00.000-07:00

(First of all, I'd like to thank Valerie for the music notes, Lennie Hayton for the lyrics.)

This will be the SHORT version of the story: as I'd been meaning to for quite a while, I tested myself on the Burns Depression Checklist today. I did it once before, maybe a month/month and a half ago. As opposed to the 47 (as I recall) that was then my score, today's score was a grand total of 7. Wonderful.

Seminary Teaching Evaluation

2006-03-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

(Sorry for being merely descriptive--and not creative--with my title.)

So, Monday at noon I had the first 10-minute teaching evaluation for my Intro to Seminary Teaching class. I felt, in preparing, that I really didn't feel as prepared as I'd like to feel (which, well, is pretty much the case with everyone with everything, I'm finding . . .), and yet, I realized that I didn't think I'd previously spent that much time preparing a lesson of any kind.

I should explain what it is I'm talking about. So, there's this class I'm taking, which is basically to prepare people (like me, for example--though I'm not the best example) for the CES (Church Education System) hiring process. Some percentage (75% or something) of the students in this class are invited to move on to the next class, Seminary Teaching Methods, almost exclusively based on their grades in these 10-minute teaching experiences. The next class has a similar evaluation process, but I think you teach an actual class for a whole week or something, and then a few of those people are invited to become student teachers; and then, a very few are actually hired as seminary and institute teachers.

So anyways, that's the basic idea. As for what I actually taught, I chose Alma 32:12-16 as my "scripture block," and basically, we (a class of five, two of whom were other students in my same class) went through the verses and talked about the process Alma was teaching: the two ways we can arrive at being humble, what humility leads us to do, and what importance baptism should have for us as baptized members of the Church every day of our lives.

In planning it out, it was easy for me to identify the principles that I wanted to focus on, but it was more of a challenge to decide how I could teach in a worthwhile, interesting, memorable (etc., etc., etc.) way. I ended up with a little object lesson about how humility works, and I think it worked well--in that it wasn't incredibly time-consuming, and it was simple enough to work back into the principles of the lesson with just a few words referring back to it.

Anywho, I don't mean to be long-winded. (Though, I suppose if you really didn't want to read what I say, you would certainly be welcome not to. Anyways.) Mostly, it was just interesting to me to see how fulfilling it was for me to feel I had done a good job, and to have that confirmed by my teacher (who happens to be quite the energetic, stereotypical seminary teacher-type guy). And yet it was challenging enough for me to feel like planning and teaching lessons was something I could be happy doing on a regular basis . . .

That's all.

Which thing I never had before supposed . . .

2006-03-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

I am a flirt. Or so I'm told. Who would've thought? Not me. I mean, (so I'm told,) I'm not a :)Brent Fairhair* (*name changed so as not to slander an awesome guy) type of flirt, hugging everything in sight, smooth-talking the ladies, etc., etc., etc. But apparently, there's something about the way I treat people that comes across as "flirty" . . .

If any of you that know me have anything to say about this, I'm very interested in your opinions. (And BA, thank you for telling me about this--though I'm not even sure how it even came up . . .)

"Humility & Impartiality"

2006-03-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd better get something on here about my recent experience with a new movie (perhaps a new "favorite" movie). (Forgive my convoluted writing style in advance.)

1.) Having heard excellent reviews from one friend who had recently seen it, 2.) having also at least two good friends wanting to see it, and 3.) it having arrived at the dollar theater in Provo, I decided to go see the latest Pride & Prejudice Monday. And see it again. Monday. Yay! :)

Anyways, the things I have to say about it at the moment include the following: the music was just beautiful. It was mostly Romantic-period style piano music, with strings added as necessary. (While hearing Mary play near the opening, I had the distinct--though unexplainable--feeling that it was in fact a man playing (call me "proud" or "prejudiced" . . .); it is, in fact, a man named Jean-Yves Thibaudet, whose music I now deeply respect and love). But anyways, the music added the perfect atmosphere, for my taste.

Also, still on the music, the dance scenes and the music itself served to portray extremely effectively the differences in the two socio-economic classes involved. In the A&E version (though I did only see it once), I didn't get nearly the same sense of the differences in propriety, dress, manners, etc., that were made clear in this version--and which are so essential to comprehension of the plot (especially in regards to others' disapproval of Bingley's attraction to Jane). While the distinction in the reality of the time may or may not have been so clear, it was done effectively in the movie, for my tastes.

The same goes for the portrayal of the family. There were plenty of times where the Bennett family came across as positively idiotic--completely out of place when among the upper class society. But that's how families are. Not everyone's family completely and accurately represents each individual, and even when they do, we are obliged to accept the families of those we love (at least in this kind of situation).

I also appreciated how the characters were realistic, to me--not overly stylized. Though few women would be prone to be charmed by Collins the man, few viewers could claim he was so over-the-top as to become an unbelievable character (in fact, some people may even know a person or two like him . . .). The same goes for the main characters. While they were certainly proud as well as prejudiced, they were much, much more. They said and did things that would fit their general characterizations, but they were never so stiff as to seem to have no desire to do otherwise; in other words, they were only as self-assured as any real person would be, in my opinion.

The Long Road Home

2006-03-08T13:55:00.000-07:00

On my way to school this morning, I found myself, barely on time (as usual), behind someone whom I would rather avoid (not a normal occurrence, as I can only think of . . . well, one person with whom that would be the case). In cutting across the grass towards campus, I found myself in class quite a bit earlier than I'd expected to arrive, and it took me (as far as I can tell) quite a bit less time to get there than it normally does. So, in avoiding a potentially unpleasant surprise, I was pleasantly surprised to find a new and useful shortcut that I will now be using three days out of each week.

(For those of you who are familiar with the area of campus: rather than walk the asphalt path all the way to the top and then pass by the SWKT to get to the southeast entrance of the JFSB, from now on I will (most likely) take the path next-highest up the hill (which starts at the top of the steps coming from 300 East), cut through the Testing Center, cut through the MCKB, pas by the other side of the SKWT, then enter the JFSB ever-so slightly closer to my classroom, on the southwest side.)

Better Days

2006-03-02T13:32:00.000-07:00

Just a little random thought. As usual, I wish I had time to really post something worthwhile . . . Anyways, I've found a new favorite song--kind of a song of the moment, really. It's "Better Days," by the Goo Goo Dolls (which is, I have to say, one of the by far strangest band names ever).

It's been on the radio and everything, but I really just paid attention to it a week or two ago, and it just kind of says a lot of what I'd like to say right now. That's all. I wish I could put in a link to it or something, but I'm not smart enough for stuff like that. :)

NEW thoughts on dating??

2006-02-10T16:22:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd take a moment to comment on the new aspect of my life that is my 18-year-old sister, Rachel, having a boyfriend. The first thought that came to mind (or ONE of the first--probably after "Wow, that was fast") was, "Finally, some nice young man [besides family members] sees just how cool our sister is."

Well, then followed the flurry of other thoughts, including:
- "I would never hold a girl's hand on a first date" (contrary to Cassandra's suppositions)
- "What does she like about him?" (explanation: there are tons of things to like about him, but I'm still curious what it is that she sees in him)
- "How would I feel if Rachel were to get married (anytime soon)?"
- "Is it really just time to let Rachel grow up, at least a little bit, or should we work to keep her from growing up too much?"
- "I wonder how/if I would've acted differently with any of the girls I dated if there had been a big brother around--or had I had that mentality?"

That's all that comes to mind at the moment, but there may be more to come . . .

Babies!

2006-02-10T15:39:00.000-07:00

So, I have to thank Leila for inspiring me to talk about babies.

I've recently arrived at a point in my life where people I actually know and am actively friends with are not only married, but having kids, too. It's been a couple of months now, but I found out two dear friends from my mission, Emily and Kevin, are both having kids (and they're married, but not to each other, so that's twice as many babies!) in just a couple of months.

Then, I called another of my old companions a day or two ago, and it turns out he's got an 8-month-old girl AND is expecting another girl a little while from now. Of course, all this is ignoring the fact that Audrey, the oldest in my family, is having their fourth child soon (perpetuating a whole generation of "grandparents" for their cousins, whenever they finally come along).

Anyways, I can't say that I'm particularly disappointed not to have any children of my own at the moment, but it's just a new experience for me to really be involved with friends that are having kids . . . Hmmg.

The Light of the Restoration

2006-02-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

So, today I had what was, for me, a very unique experience. I've found a place here in Provo that feels about as peaceful as the temple.

For my intro to Seminary teaching class, I needed to observe a seminary or institute class, and, mostly because I don't have a car, I checked with the ones that are here in Provo and ended up in the Special Needs Institute class just on the northeast side of campus (over behind the Taylor building).

At this point, I'm not really sure what to say about it. I think the thing that left the biggest impression on me was that I could perceive light in the people there, greater in quantity and quality than I have in a very long time. The teachers seemed to be directly following the Spirit, which they had also followed in carefully preparing; the students seemed to be in closer connection to Heavenly Father, with pride-free, pure, childlike hearts; and the volunteers seemed to open their hearts to that light more than they might in a normal day, being more caring and forgiving and kind (I definitely noticed something like that in my own feelings).

With the peace that I felt tonight, the ever-present question comes up: What am I going to do now? Will I continue to do things that bring that light to my heart (and, with that, to others')? Or will I find other things to do with my time?

Something incredible and wonderful that came to me, too, while I was there, was when, in the closing prayer, the young man praying said something about preparing to take the sacrament on Sunday. I realized that every single day I need to have that thought as something that I focus on, or I really will not be prepared to take the sacrament at the week's end. Hmm.

From volleyball class

2006-01-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

One thing I learned in class two days ago that I thought was very interesting was that you’re not supposed to forearm pass down your mid-line. You’re supposed to keep your passing plane on one side or the other (one likely is more comfortable than the other); it helps when you’ve got a floater coming up on you, so you can just raise your arms while lowering your opposite shoulder, rather than having to jump or find the ball in your chest. Hmm.

The other thing about passing was that, with a three-across serve-receive, you’ll face a little on the diagonal to the left, and your “area” is deep on your left and short on your right. Kind of like this: / / /. It makes sense, too—you know which ball is yours and which is the other guy’s. “Coach” (former BYU All-American Nina Puikkonen Mortensen) also said to keep your eye on how high the ball is coming on the serve, and then on its the height as it crosses the tape. That’ll tell you how long or short it’ll be dropping. Hmm. Nifty.

Welcome

2006-01-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

So, this is it, folks. My daily life on display. The "Daily Universe," if you will (thanks, Sarah). :)

More to come.