On Baby Names
Today’s three baby blessings got me thinking about baby names. So here are my tentative rules on making that most significant of choices.
Rule #1
No words that mean stuff.
Of course, Priya = sweetheart (or whatever it means) isn’t what I’m talking about here. I mean, words that mean stuff to everyone.
For example: Ocean, Winter, Apple, Tag, Hunter, Rain.
I mean, it’s just silly. Even if you for some reason associate your child with that thing (price tag, anyone?), it’s just not doing anyone any favors. If it means something, it’s not okay.
Rule #2
No ridiculous spellings.
Family names tend to cause people enough trouble anyway. There’s no reason to add “character” with silly spellings.
For example: Whyiat (for Wyatt), Justan (for Justin), Ceighteigh (for Katie—and yes, that’s a real-life example).
The kids themselves will be confused when learning to spell, teachers and other adults will be confused when trying to pronounce. And when the kids grow up they ought to have better things to do than wonder how their parents came up with the strange spelling of their names.
Rule #3
No awkwardly gender-neutral names.
The draw here is obvious: pick the name, then have the baby. Perfect match every time!
Except it’s tough enough to deal with gender identity stuff in today’s world. Why add to the confusion?
For example: Taylor, Jamie, Jordan, Tracy, Adrian.
I’m sure we could all name plenty of people with such names that have gone on to lead happy, successful lives. But deep down, I’m sure they’ve all struggled, right?
Now, maybe at some point I’ll come up with some rules that are actually productive... This is just what happened to come to mind today.
posted by It's Not a Tuba at 9:22 PM
10 Comments:
Is this post because you have craptacularly chosen names of students in your class?
I'm pretty sure Joe agrees with you 100% on those rules! (though he's never said anything about the meaning thing, I think he'd be a little turned off if we named our kid "He who runs with wild things" :)) Oh I'm so funny!
In pondering the names of children, feel free to suggest any for our son-to-be! We're getting no where fast with this one!
Might I suggest a reading on the subject? A chapter in the book Freakonomics complete with a demographic analysis of the socioeconomics.
xoxo
Dad H
Looks like Rachel has picked up some new vocabulary words from her 6th graders...
Whew, I think our family passed the weird name test! Well, almost. Jon has probably has to spell his name for just about everybody.
Keep that thinking cap on, Robert!
OXOXMOM
Come on Robert, don't shoot down names that are gender neutral. What if your future kid is awesome enough to have a name like, oh, I don't know, Teagan!
Reid would agree with you whole-heartedly! His sister Shellie was sharing an example with us of a name they saw. It looked like this: la-a (pronounced laDASHa). Gotta love Detroit!
Just saw another 'creative' spelling:
Maycee for Macey or Macy... the problem is that I now find my self starting to write my neice's name that way-it is catchy! ;)
Wow Robert! I just don't know what to say to you right now...other than you are not my favorite person at the moment. I don't know whether to be extremely ticked, or to figure I had this coming with an English major in the family. ;) All 3 of my girls' names are mentioned in this blog post, 2 of which by YOU as examples of what NOT to do when naming your child. Wow Robert. You are not nice!!
I take that back...you dissed all THREE of my girl's names.
:( I didn’t mean to be mean to anyone when I posted that oh-so-long ago. The experience at church that day just prompted me to put my own preferences into words. Your kids’ names just happened to intersect with my rules, and I apologize if I worded them on the harsh side.
The funny thing is that names are like haircuts: you may dislike a certain style in the abstract, but once you see it on somebody’s head, it seems to work out just fine...
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